I want to direct in the Inter University Drama Festival because, because, because – I don’t know any more. No that’s not right.
I want to direct in the IUDF because I have feelings and I like to express them by asking people to memorise text and say it while moving their eyebrows a lot while I point red lights at them and spray smoke and play music and make them smash things.
I want to direct because when I was four I went to a play and it was Winnie the Pooh and it was amazing and they wore costumes and I held the back of the seat in front of me and the stage was slanted so people looked bigger when they went further back and the program used pictures to fill in for words so when they should have used the word “be” they did a picture of a bee instead and it was funny and clever and it was the best. I’ve never seen any play that’s anything like as good as that even though I’ve seen David Tenant in Hamlet and I want to recreate that magical childhood experience for everybody in week ten of next term.
I want to direct because I’ve never been given a position of responsibility before and I think it would be easy and I have no free time and I want to make non-chronological stories without plot and characters made up entirely of choreographed movement timed to music that somehow isn’t dancing but isn’t anything else either.
I want to direct because I saw a play I didn’t like and was like “I can so do better than that”.
I want to direct because art is subjective so whatever I do is good as long as I like it and my mum likes it and my best friend says “it’s good but it’s not my thing”.
I want to direct because I sat up writing for five hours straight and now I’m crazy and my bag of flour told me to.
I want to direct because I want people to love me and I don’t want to learn lines.