A dictionary is basically a very concise encyclopaedia.

Do wet dreams count for those who are celibate?

How is King’s Cross Station so clean when there are so few bins?

I always sleep better in an unfamiliar bed.

I dream of eating meaty chicken bits and roasted tuna. Doesn’t make me a bad vegetarian.

I had a dream in which every phone offered a service which allowed the user to send texts for free that had no recipient. Ostensibly it was to allow people to “vent” without consequence but it was secretly jointly monitored by the US and UK governments so they could gather big data on the madness in human souls.

I know the bus route like a web.

I missed a lot of boats.

I’m a downwardly mobile member of the lower upper middle class.

I’m very stingy with the money other people give me.

Love me like a piano.

My favourite David Bowie song is the one about space.

She types, and as she types tears fall onto the touch screen, forever changing her words.

The wind will never take me.

The word “avatar” is far more common than it deserves to be.

There’s a document on my computer that simply says
“Glad for:

There’s no conditioner, your hair just is that silky.

Under the right conditions, is it possible to turn cheese into a vapour?


What even is an onion?

When I stand my iron on its back I can see tears dripping from its belly.

Who is Gary Busey?

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