-a collection of notes, opinion pieces, attempts at answers to troubling questions, jokes, poems, short stories and some other secret things too. I’ve not decided all the publishing details yet-

Carry a gun. Not to keep you safe. To keep others unsafe.

Do catfish get hiccups?

Hearts beating in time. How?

I don’t know your mind. I don’t know mine.

I’d remember if I had any cognitive biases.

If you love someone, then pass them some grapes and say “you’re grape!”

I’m straight. Except when I’m drunk or bored. I’m not straight.

Inky tentacle monster hides within all throats. Gives us our flaws.

I went back to my primary school classroom. All my classmates were still eleven years old, flicking pencils at their tables. One of the Roses asked me for help with her fractions.

Just myself and my self. I wish he would stop judging me.

Predictable cheddar. The cheddar of cheeses.

Roger Allam would make an excellent sad tuna.

Some music is best heard when asleep.

The world makes more sense if you assume voters are total bastards.

Thought I was unfit. No. Some bastard kids had been increasing the elevation of my cycle route by half a degree every day for months.

Took an IQ test. It turns out I’m an idiot – I thought intelligence could be represented on a one-dimensional scale.

Total introvert. Always in the crowd because I’m also a masochist.

Unless something drastic changes, this will have to be our happy end. Don’t browse forever. Do something you’ll cherish.

Yes, close the window. Please.

You know I’ll always love you. Now go. Goodbye. Stay grape.

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