Too many coats! (quick draft, fiction)

There are too many coats in my house. Too many people too. Why are the coats all so similarly coloured?

I really can’t stand the habit of making all coats various shades of black, olive green and really really dark blue. I mean, bollocks to that. I’m confused!

They’re everywhere. In the corridor, under the stairs, in the cellar. I think it’s because of that growling long-eared uncle who gives us each a coat every Christmas. Why does he do it? Doesn’t he realise that we have too many coats already? And why get coats? They’re very expensive presents.

It must be because he never had children himself. Why would I say that? Urrgh, I’m such a curmudgeon. Complaining about coats. Coats coats coats. I’m done.

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